Smoking Mirrors dull effect

Life has taught many things

If i allowed childish games to effect the outcome of my decisions i would still be sleeping in the bando in north tulsa. But just like then i allowed the unstoppable efforts to bring my dimise to go unwarranted. The choice is to have a choice . Its not where you are from but where your at. Smoke fills the mirror of your reflection but that isnt where i seek validation. Mine comes from the light in the darkness that has guided my journey years before ours began. Childishly you must resort to elementary games only to dull your effect on my future

Only one i can save is myself

In reality you aint shit Like a predator u stalk your prey Find your way in by studying the weakness and what brings them joy You slowly make yourself visible in their surroundings as u gain ur prey attention tho u seem quiet and shy timid even your only thought is timing Timing is important in any hunt You have practiced this all your life as a serial killer would prey on a victim But see you are to weak to kill It takes strength and that you would gain nothing materialistic Once the time is right and you allow a fake sense of trust Feeding off the others misperception of themselves Or betrayal by others in there past The only thing you give to the other person from this point on is your time. And to a lonely person another persons time is everything As the mind games begin the other one isnt aware As time progresses and ur showered with praise interest and possibly gifts you begin to get bored and lose interest mentally and sexually now for the game to reach another level your victim has to prove their interest there commitment and loyalty and the easiest way to do that is to find one jealous streak Stringing people along with mind games and false emotions while exhausting to the other person turns you on like a peeping tom outside a neighbors window You think your in control Not until the very end will you realise you never where There is a balance in this world where evil will only prevail so long and the keepers of the skies will send in one that knows your soul and the price in which its been sold. The prison you have placed yourself in will remain cold and dark as long as you continue to thrive of others weakness. You begin picking up old habits that destroyed your world back when you felt alive and whole. Losing that life you lost yourself . you can never get that life back until you can place value in yourself without having a thing or person around you. As you spiral out of control normal functions of everyday begin to glitch nothing seems to go right you feel alone suddenly the games u used before dont work not even a thought is complete anymore. What will you do? Drown yourself in self pity ? Will you run thinking you can get away? You never planned for an attack against you only by you. This attack will be spiritual at first and you wont even notice. The darkness hovers you but you wont see it or feel it because your soul is numb. Once the darkness has surely consumed your entire being will this realm start to reveal that it will once again take every bit of anything you feel you have. If given a shot at redemption would you take it? And at what cost? Ive realised that in order for my soul not to return to the place in wich urs resides i have binded all connections and ties. At one point what i thought was  friendship i would have risked walking with you until you reached the light. I write this to bind all ties good and bad with you so that i may move onto one who is trapped in darkness seeking the light. But know this will not stop my journey with the one you have preyed upon because the light in her will always shine no matter how thick the darkness she desires. As i began is as i ended in reality you aint shit…

Malaya

“When a woman becomes her own best friend life is easier.” ― Diane Von Furstenberg Broken. Lost. Zoned-out. This is exactly what my first half of 2020 felt like. 2019 was a year that made me a woman. I was no longer this naïve, timid, and socially-awkward girl, well, at least most of the time. Yes […]

Malaya
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